MbShea@PWP@English@UMCP

Today is a work session, with some consultation with me.  I will return your thesis statements to you, and we will discuss the Audience Analysis Sheet.  I will scan and return to you in this class session. 

While I do that, I want you to think about a beginning for your document. Review our choices here.

Now, here is the heart of what we will do today: Arguments/Structures/Headings. We use Aristotle's approach to look at the:

• logos
• pathos
• ethos

inherent in the context and audience situation of our final documents. And, yes, the pathos piece is often subtle or hidden in technical documents in all fields.  Still, think about this.

We also try to arrange your information into a beginning/middle/end.  What do we need to to know, to understand the heart of your document?  Again, think about three or four main messages you want to provide your reader. Notice that headings and structure are another way to develop transitions. Transitions -- headings and attention to paragraphing -- help the "cognitive threading" of your reader.

YOU WILL NEED TO EMAIL ME THIS BEFORE NOON ON FRIDAY. I will respond on Friday/Saturday; then, I will prompt you to write an abstract to me.  We need this email interaction between now and Tuesday, the last session for the course.

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Review of class details:

Monday/Wednesday 11-1, special review sessions. Bring your final document drafts, for peer review and my comments.

Regular class session;  TUESDAY IS THE LAST DAY OF CLASS. Come with your final document nearly ready to go, and we can check sentences, grammar, document design. 

Turn in folder and final document to me on Friday, my house, before noon. 

I would not be honest if I did not say that the cover letter/resume submissions were very weak. We will discuss these again in class, based on the handout given earlier.  You must redo this for Thursday for a grade.  No more revisions on that set of documents.

For Thursday, bring your folder of all work completed for this class. I will check these and provide a cover sheet for this portfolio.  Recall that you will turn in this folder at the end of class, along with your final project.

For Thursday, you will also need an annotated bibliography of sources, printed out BEFORE CLASS.  I will check this in class and return to you.  You will also need to fill out this sheet in digital format, to be emailed to me at the end of class period. I will respond by Friday, so you will have that feedback over the weekend.

You will need to think about structure for your final project.  More on that Thursday.

On the weekend, you will write a nearly final version of your final project.  YES.  Really. You will bring in on Tuesday, July 2, which is technically the last day of class. Then, the additional workshop sessions begin.

Monday 10-1 in a classroom in Tawes.  (Yes, this is before Tuesday, the last day of class).

Wednesday 10-1 in a classroom in Tawes.

However, recall that your final folder is due to me on Friday morning, July 5, to my house.  Before noon.

Today, is primarily an in class session on the document design portion of your article review.  We will also look at the cover letter/resume set.  All of these will be printed out in class, to be turned into me.

Key paragraph pattern for your cover letter:  claim/support. In other words, back up your claim with some evidence.

We also review the that/which distinction in Tuesday's post. 

And, now, onto the final project.  You will need to send me a formal project proposal memo by Saturday noon, so that I can respond by Monday.  Next week, you will need to present an annotated bibligraphy of seven sources, all in support of your final project. Here are samples for you to model after. Note: they use audience/contect/purpose structures.

Do you see these steps toward your final project:

1. Topic proposal, that addresses a thesis or problem statement that your document addresses.  Note also the real or highy plausible audience this document can address.
2. Annotated bibiiography of seven sources
3. Audience analysis sheet, to control the final project writing choices
4. Argument/structure analysis
5. Abstract

Today, we wrap up the review article. I will mark and grade, returning these documents to you on Thursday. You will have a grade for this assignment.  Now, we do have a revision opportunity -- a way to improve both the text and the grade (if needed), with a second phase -- re-design of this assignment.

You will need to complete the redesign in class, printing out this document at the end of the class session for a second grade.  We will spend about one hour doing this.  For prep, please review this sample:

Article Review

You will need to develop/find three or four visuals for this in-class assignment. Gather them in jpg format before Thursday: 

• author photos if available (permission requrest required)
• cover of journal that article appears in
• visual from inside the article
• copyright free/open access visual (to be discussed in class)

We will all use this masthead, courtesy of Megan B. (now a medical illustrator):

We will also finish up/print out the cover letter/resume pair of documents on Thursday.  So, prepare your documents before class, for final polish.  

OK: the rest of the semester is for the final project and your service learning activities.

YOU NEED A FINAL PROJECT IDEA!  I heard from two of you over the weekend.  

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That-which: which takes a comma; that does not! See this  handout on choosing which and that.

Colons v. semi-colons: see the OWL website. Colons and semi-colons should be used correctly OR NOT AT ALL. Take a look at this video below before Friday. Study up on commas.

Let's look at a visual way to remember the dangling modifier problem. This visual is courtesy of a former student, H.S. 

Piano. from Paul Rayment on Vimeo.

Paragraph transitions: Think pearls beaded upon a string. Think train cars coupled. This UCSB guide is helpful with words that serve nicely as transition elements.  This writing guide emphasizes the value of repeating key words as a transition strategy. Now, think about transitions between sentences WITHIN paragraphs as another way to achieve cohesion.

"Meh" paragraph
Plastic and paper cups pose problems for recycling. Ceramic cups are very energy intensive to produce. Recycling seems environmentally-sound.  Paper does not degrade deep within most landfills and the plastic coating is also difficult.  Not all plastic can be recycled.  You need to check the bottom of the container.  Landfills are increasingly full.  There is a huge "patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean.

Better paragraph
Paper and plastic both pose disposal problems.  First, not all plastic can be recycled. Check the bottom of the plastic container. "No. 1" and "No. 2" types can be recycled by most facilities. Second, paper does not degrade deep within most landfills because of low oxygen conditions. The plastic coating also interferes with decay. Landfills are increasingly full.  There is a huge "patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean.

Even better paragraph (can you see the re-thinking of content as well as sentence-level revision)
Paper and plastic both pose disposal problems.  First, not all plastic can be recycled. Check the bottom of the plastic container. "No. 1" and "No. 2" types can be recycled by most facilities. Second, paper does not degrade deep within most landfills because of low oxygen conditions. The plastic coating also interferes with decay. Landfills are increasingly full, with paper and plastic part of the waste stream. Not all plastic is recycled or landfilled. According to the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) a huge "patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean is further evidence of of the environmental harm posed by plastic.

And, more discussion on the Oxford comma:

Oxford comma: Look at these examples, to jump start the lesson.

To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.

To my parents, J.K. Rowling and God.

To my parents, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.

OR

In a newspaper account of a documentary about Merle Haggard:

Among those interviewed were his two ex-wives, Kris Kristofferson and Robert Duvall.

These two preceding examples are from Theresa Hayden. Here is another doosie that cries out for a serial or Oxford comma.

 Here is another doosie that cries out for a serial or Oxford comma.

The Times once published an unintentionally humorous description of a Peter Ustinov documentary, noting that

"highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector."

Now, to be clear, the serial comma does not always solve ambiguity problems:

They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and a cook –

• They went to Oregon with Betty, who was a maid and a cook. (One person)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, both a maid and a cook. (One person)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and cook. (One person)
• They went to Oregon with Betty (a maid) and a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid, and with a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty – a maid – and a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with the maid Betty and a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with a cook and Betty, a maid. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty as well as a maid and a cook. (Three people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty and a maid and a cook. (Three people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, one maid and a cook. (Three people)
• They went to Oregon with a maid, a cook, and Betty. (Three people)

We can also look at the grocery list problem: 

buying  bread, jam, coffee, cream, juice, eggs, and bacon. VS

eating toast and jam, coffee and cream, juice, and bacon and eggs

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Please reread this post on commas at OWL at Purdue. 

Pollinator memo notes.

We will begin immediately with a revision session on your insect hotel memo. I have updated the revision sheet here.

Update on service learning tasks and materials: two sheets now that are open for your editing. This link is for Sophie H. on succulents.

Now, let's turn to your article review pieces and see how they are progressing. You need to think about an opening.  Help for this here:

This will be due in hard copy/digital copy for a grade in class on Tuesday June 18. On that day, also bring your cover letter/resumes in hard and digital copy for a final peer review. THose hard copies will be due for a grade on Thursday, June 20.  

Grammar items:

colon v. semi colon

conventions on italics or quote marks for citation

first mention full term; subsequent mention in acronym

Last day/holiday/due discussion:

I will add office hours that will with a special session on Wednesday morning

Final folder due Wednesday Evening OR Friday AM.  To be delivered to my house in Hyattsville.