Rewrites this weekend, but due on Monday
and then we are done with memos. Couple of items:
- signal phrase, please. I am teaching you sophistication and efficiency, as well as a citation convention.
- Hey, I MEANT THIS: NO EMPTY SUBJECTS!
- It is (was) (will be)
- There is (are) (was) (will be)
More generally, in the larger paragraphs, please think about helping your reader "ride" through the material. Here we go with some metaphors (the bike one is not mine, but is a favorite). Short paragraphs are evidence that you, the writer, does the heavy lifting for the reader. Why? Please consider paragraphing as an ethical duty to your reader. At the very least, think about manners and consideration.
Here is an exercise in sentence-to-sentence coherence. Work your way through this web exhibit, including the links. Read more about working on paragraph coherence strategies at OWL.
I want to suggest that you use the counting out technique in the Hocking's paragraph and perhaps the Moore paragraph. Here is also an opportunity to see a memo-level organizing element: life cycle analysis. The cradle-to-grave process can be seen in three to five steps, including
- manufacture (energy and materials)
- transportation to vendor (ships, rails, trucks)
- use by consumer
- (reuse?)
- disposal or recycling
- Leakage or escape from disposal or recyclying stream
Over the weekend, please email me your articles. Send them as citation in the body of an email. Links? Ok, BUT, I would rather have the APA citation form. Identify WHICH one is broad and which one is narrow. Identify the genre type.
REVISION PATTERN (recap of last ten days) for coffee cup memo)
- Open with polite, first person opening AND
- give your disposable cup recommendation (first or second paragraph)
- identify your environmental problem (climate change/energy efficiency or fate of ocean plastic)
- Describe and quantify the office cup pattern -- description para with quantifiers (first person works)
- Review briefly the twor three choices -- Use one or two paragraphs (third person)
- 1) compare contrast paper/styrofoam
- 2) description of ceramic IF YOU PLAN A TWO-PRONG SOLUTION
- Define LCA (needs EPA or UNDP source) (third person but you may use first person in a sentence to identify this as your primary decision criteria)
- Hocking's work (needs peer reviewed source and idea that his work is primarily energy focused; mention his disciplinary expertise and institutional affiliation) Note: placing ethos here is part of the signal phrasing
- Moore's work (needs peer-reviewed source) and lead with his disciplinary expertise) Again, this ethos placement is part of the signal phrasing
- Recommendation paragraph, with your recommendation bolded within the sentence.
- Qualify the weakness of
- Hocking's work, dated.
- Moore's work is an emerging inquiry about the fate of plastic in the environment; and, he left his research position as an academic scientist to become an advocate scientist
- Note that the science is unclear; your choice depends on how you weight the energy criteria in the LCA or the fate of plastic in the LCA. You, of course, can recommend a two-point solution about re-usuables within the office.
- Close with polite paragraph.
Ok, back to some composition/rhetoric theory. I chose this arrangement because I want to teach you several techniques to use in subjects of greater complexity. Please do what I asked. Also, imagine being at work and your team leader says, in actions and authority, do it my way. :)
One of Aristotle's canons for writing is ARRANGEMENT. The order and "chunking" of information matters very much for reader cognition and receptivity to what you write. This care in arranging information for the audience is also part of the cognitive wedge strategy. Another way to think about this is the given-new contract to help ensure clarity and coherence for readers. Look at this discussion on Given-New. (read three pages of this).
Citation in paragraphs, here.
MONDAY: Be reading to start writing directions in class. You will need to know what level of experience your audience has. And, have a rough idea about what is
- front matter
- heart of directions (numbered, ordered commands)
- back matter (notes, variations, and the establishment of your ethos to increase their confidence and buy in).
Marybeth Shea
Post a Comment
Reader Comments