Coffee cup complexity continued
First, let's take up again the Oxford comma. (See how we weave back and forth on language conventions? You are more likely to remember, if we use this pattern.)
Consider these examples from Sarah Lichter. Here is one from my writing practice recently:
Conservation biologists look at two approaches to biodiversity losses, species counts in the tropics and changing distribution maps.
What about this one that the protodoctors among us might say to a patient:
Your cancer can be treated with chemotherapy, surgery or immunotherapy.
Paragragh transitions: like pearls on a string.Here is an exhibit on paragraph transitions, in this Google doc. The beauty of these two documents is that they were written by friends of mine. I simply marked the strong transitions. Transitions are REALLY IMPORTANT IN THE COFFEE CUP MEMO. Transitions help us with complexity. Back to our office and the problem-solution memo you are writing. This memo is largely organized on developing material to support a policy (stasis 5).
Several ideas are central to the problem description: 1) problem for OUR OFFICE (25 employess with 10 clients/visitors per week), 2) energy-climate change problem, 3) landfill problem, 4) life cycle analysis (LCA)...wow! And we have not yet begun to fight write!
We need to work these many definitions/process descriptions (practical causality) into the memo WITHOUT losing track of our problem-solution task.
About your paragraphs in this memo. Shorter paragraphs -- like the problem description para, the compare contrast para, and the LCA definition paragraph are like the thin edge of wedge. Such relatively simple and relatively short paras help prepare your reader for the longer paragraphs:
- Martin Hocking's work SUMMARIZED in an evaluation para OR
- Charles Moore's work SUMMARIZED in an evalution para AND
- MH's work summarized in the counter-argument if you reccomend PAPER (supported by Moore) OR
- CM's work summarized in the counter-argument if you reccomend PLASTIC (supported by Hocking).
Hint: in these larger evaluation paragraphs, try using the counting technique to bind or organize the complexity.
Reminder: three sources only -- EPA or UNEP/UNDP source on defining LCA, our method, peer reviewed papers for Moore and Hocking (one each is sufficient).
REMINDER ON DUE DATES: MONDAY, FEB 29.
- Rewrite of rain garden for a grade
- PDG (pretty darn good) draft for in-class peer review; rewrite for coffee cup DUE WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2 for grade.
Marybeth Shea
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