MbShea@PWP@English@UMCP

are in the heart of your memo.  However, recall the cognitive wedge?  Less is more.  This is a recommendation memo, and needs to be relatively short.

"Meh" paragraph
Plastic and paper cups pose problems for recycling. Ceramic cups are very energy intensive to produce. Recycling seems environmentally-sound.  Paper does not degrade deep within most landfills and the plastic coating is also difficult.  Not all plastic can be recycled.  You need to check the bottom of the container.  Landfills are increasingly full.  There is a huge "patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean.

Better paragraph
Paper and plastic both pose disposal problems.  First, not all plastic can be recycled. Check the bottom of the plastic container. "No. 1" and "No. 2" types can be recycled by most facilities. Second, paper does not degrade deep within most landfills because of low oxygen conditions. The plastic coating also interferes with decay. Landfills are increasingly full.  There is a huge "patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean.

Even better paragraph (can you see the re-thinking of content as well as sentence-level revision)
Paper and plastic -- including Styrofoam -- both pose disposal problems.  First, not all plastic can be recycled. Check the bottom of the plastic container. "No. 1" and "No. 2" types can be recycled by most facilities. However, Styrofoam recycling is not well established in most locations. Second, paper does not degrade deep within most landfills because of low oxygen conditions. The plastic coating on hot beverage cups also interferes with decay. Landfills are increasingly full, with paper and plastic part of the waste stream. Not all plastic is recycled or landfilled. Huge amounts of both paper and plastic refused enter waterways, the result being huge ocean garbage "patches" now documented particularly in the Pacific Ocean.

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Now we can talk about a working arrangement for the whole memo: (by paragraphs, with volumn of text controlled at beginning by cognitive wedge, the paragraphs controlled by stasis theory)

Polite one-sentence opening, where you reveal your policy recommendation

Description para with quanitfiers about office problem (NO SOURCES)

Review briefly the three choices in two categories -- Use one or two paragraphs 1) compare contrast of paper/styrofoam 2) description of ceramic option as main reuse-able (NO SOURCES)

Define LCA (needs EPA source) and explain this is your main decision criteria (first person voice)

Hocking's work OPTIONAL PLACEMENT FOR THIS PARA (Para is a summary of process, which is a kind of cause-effect stasis, plus specific values) (SOURCE IS HOCKING)

Moore's work OPTiONAL PLACEMENT FOR THIS PARA (Para is a summary of process, which is a kind of cause-effect stasis, plus specific values) (SOURCE IS MOORE)

Recommendation paragraph (use bold on your recommendation sentences to flag this part of the memo)

Acknowledgement of other readings of the options

Example paragraph

Polite closing

Lots to do and we are juggling three writing assignments now:

• revision of your rain garden definition memo: DUE FOR A FINAL GRADE on Monday, 23rd.  In-class revision session on Friday. Bring your digital and marked copy for consultation.
• thinking/drafting your recommendation memo on green coffee cup memo (we need a POLICY here) We begin this next week, with draft of memo for peer review DUE ON FRIDAY/FINAL VERSION due MONDAY, MARCH 2.
• reading critically your two articles to prepare for assignment 3, the close review. We will be drafting this document in sets of paragraphs during the first two weeks in March.  Think one or two paragrahs per class session. More on that next week.

Notes on the rain garden memo revision, to be discussed in class.

Picking up earlier material (reposting the links here, for you, as a weaving of content)  that we did not talk about or needs more discussion:

• Pitch the Verb

And, on to paragraphs:

• Paragraph Definition: think Architectures
• Paragraph Types

 More on revising the rain garden memo:

• word choice
• citation conventions in science/technical writing based on APA or author-date conventions
• shape of the document and paragraph size (cognitive wedge)
• progressive arrangement (stasis-driven paragrah types)
• direct topic sentence structure 
• empty subjects
  • there is (no there allowed in this document revision)
  • there are
  • It (no its allowed in this document revision)

What is an appositive? A bit of information you insert in between the subject and the verb.  You need commas or other sorts of punctuation to set this off.  This image of bunny paws can help you remember to do this:

Now, to this bit of charm from N.N. Ta DAH!

Thinking for next week:

• Stasis theory in action:  sucralose analysis
• Look for your two articles (in class discussion on how to choose)
• Preparing for the next memo:  recommendation memo report (an evaluation of a complex situation)
  • Definition/description: paper and plastic (Styrofoam) cups for hot beverages
  • Definition/description: what is green?  What is sustainable? What is embodied energy?
  • Cause/Effect: Life Cycle Analysis (EPA has a good source)
  • Cause/Effect: depletion of resources/inputs and pollution/outputs
  • Decision criteria: which environmental problem is more important: carbon pollution and global warming?  The fate of plastic in ocean and other aquatic aquatic systems and both phytoplankton photosynthesis and food chain disruption?

Think about these items for our discussion on Monday. That Jane wants another memo:  which sort of coffee cup should we use in our office? What is the green choice:  paper or plastic?

in hard copy, double spaced, and stapled.

More handouts for us to think about predicates and paragraphs. First up, the predicate or verb (where the action or condition is -- state of being):

• Pitch the Verb

And, on to paragraphs:

• Paragraph Definition: think Architectures
• Paragraph Types

Memo details:

• Format
• Using first person and third person voices skillfully in memos and professional communication
  • open and close with one or two sentences
  • let body of memo be third person
• DO NOT ADDRESS JANE.  You do not need to. Why? The answer concerns the work context, within the efficiency of internal communication -- hence the memo format.  In other words, a memo is not a letter

What is a memo?  

By the way, the OWL website at Purdue is a fabulous resource for writing. Memos also have a standard format:  See the image to the left.  Also, look at the email heading in your software.  This electronic message is based on the memo format.  Bonus question:  what is the difference, traditionally, between a memo and a letter?

Topic Sentences: A list of qualities for you to strive for

• Usually a short direct sentence (think announcement)
• Signals the topic in the paragraph (think preview)
• Hooks the reader by 1) raising a question or 2) provoking thought
• Can be placed anywhere, but early on in the paragraph is the best default strategy for most professional documents; in other words, at the beginning of the paragraph
• Contains an element of transition from the previous paragraph

Note:  topic sentences can be implied in tightly coherent prose (for now, leave this subtle technique to the professionals!)

PREVIEW OF COMING ATTRACTIONS: In about two weeks, we will start looking at two research articles, your choice, for the third assignment -- close review. To prepare, over the weekend, look at these readings.  I think these short pieces will help you in your other classes, to skim, to focus, to master content.  Perhaps, attention to reading will help you prep for exams.

First, you should have by now communicated with me about your two articles. You will review them in assignment that will begin the last week in February. READ THEM this week, however.  Thinking about reading (especially technical literature) can help you in your classes.

Here is a grid to help you organize your reading (for our assignment, but this grid will help you with many peer reviewed papers often set as reading in upper division science classes).  A tight article has more granular focus:  research results, for example; A loose article is broader, with the classic example a literature review..  Increasingly, scientists and professors are self-reflective about reading scientific literature. And, also biomedical professionals. This is a very good "list" approach to reading all scientific literature. 

How are your memos going?  Let's talk about the Oxford or serial or Harvard comma, based on your "reading" of the video text assigned to you on Friday.  BTW, I found a fun and polite version here:

Oxford comma (wars): Look at these examples, to jump start the lesson.

To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.

To my parents, J.K. Rowling and God.

To my parents, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.

OR

In a newspaper account of a documentary about Merle Haggard:

Among those interviewed were his two ex-wives, Kris Kristofferson and Robert Duvall.

These two preceding examples are from Theresa Hayden. Here is another doosie that cries out for a serial or Oxford comma.

 Here is another doosie that cries out for a serial or Oxford comma.

The Times once published an unintentionally humorous description of a Peter Ustinov documentary, noting that "highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector."

Now, to be clear, the serial comma does not always solve ambiguity problems:

They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and a cook –

• They went to Oregon with Betty, who was a maid and a cook. (One person)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, both a maid and a cook. (One person)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and cook. (One person)
• They went to Oregon with Betty (a maid) and a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid, and with a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty – a maid – and a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with the maid Betty and a cook. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with a cook and Betty, a maid. (Two people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty as well as a maid and a cook. (Three people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty and a maid and a cook. (Three people)
• They went to Oregon with Betty, one maid and a cook. (Three people)
• They went to Oregon with a maid, a cook, and Betty. (Three people)

We can also look at the grocery list problem: 

buying  bread, jam, coffee, cream, juice, eggs and bacon. VS

eating toast and jam,

ordering coffee and cream, juice, and bacon and eggs

Science and the Oxford comma: Consider these examples from Sarah Lichter.  Here is one from my writing practice recently:

Conservation biologists look at two approaches to biodiversity losses, species counts in the tropics and changing distribution maps.

What about this one that the protodoctors among us might say to a patient:

Your cancer can be treated with chemotherapy, surgery or immunotherapy.