MbShea@PWP@English@UMCP

and then we are done with memos.  Couple of items: 

• signal phrase, please.  I am teaching you sophistication and efficiency, as well as a citation convention.
• Hey, I MEANT THIS: NO EMPTY SUBJECTS!
  • It is (was) (will be)
  • There is (are) (was) (will be)

More generally, in the larger paragraphs, please think about helping your reader "ride" through the material. Here we go with some metaphors (the bike one is not mine, but is a favorite). Short paragraphs are evidence that you, the writer, does the heavy lifting for the reader. Why? Please consider paragraphing as an ethical duty to your reader.  At the very least, think about manners and consideration.

Here is an exercise in sentence-to-sentence coherence.  Work your way through this web exhibit, including the links. Read more about working on paragraph coherence strategies at OWL.

I want to suggest that you use the counting out technique in the Hocking's paragraph and perhaps the Moore paragraph. Here is also an opportunity to see a memo-level organizing element:  life cycle analysis.  The cradle-to-grave process can be seen in three to five steps, including

1. manufacture (energy and materials)
2. transportation to vendor (ships, rails, trucks)
3. use by consumer
4. (reuse?)
5. disposal or recycling
6. Leakage or escape from disposal or recyclying stream

Over the weekend, please email me your articles.  Send them as citation in the body of an email.  Links?  Ok, BUT, I would rather have the APA citation form.  Identify WHICH one is broad and which one is narrow. Identify the genre type.

REVISION PATTERN (recap of last ten days) for coffee cup memo)

Ok, back to some composition/rhetoric theory.  I chose this arrangement because I want to teach you several techniques to use in subjects of greater complexity.  Please do what I asked.  Also, imagine being at work and your team leader says, in actions and authority, do it my way.  :)

One of Aristotle's canons for writing is ARRANGEMENT.  The order and "chunking" of information matters very much for reader cognition and receptivity to what you write.  This care in arranging information for the audience is also part of the cognitive wedge strategy.  Another way to think about this is the given-new contract to help ensure clarity and coherence for readers.  Look at this discussion on Given-New. (read three pages of this).

Citation in paragraphs, here.

MONDAY:  Be reading to start writing directions in class.  You will need to know what level of experience your audience has.  And, have a rough idea about what is 

• front matter
• heart of directions (numbered, ordered commands)
• back matter (notes, variations, and the establishment of your ethos to increase their confidence and buy in).

Just to re-affirm a few style/grammar conventions:

that/which

Climate change, which Oscar-winning Leonardio DiCaprio mentioned in his acceptance speech, continues to be denied by most of the 2016 GOP primary candidates.

Polar bears continue to face the food system collapse in the Arctic that is caused by climate-change induced ice pack melt.

 Last name conventions in science/tech:

Allen Davis, PhD, ......       Davis notes that......

Dr. Allen Davis.......           Davis notes that

Marybeth Shea                  Shea finds that

Here is good grammar/convention advice for life sciences style at this professional writing blog.

Engineers, physicists, mathematicians, computer science professionals tend to use the IEEE guide (short version), all based on the Chicago Manual of Style.

Also, here is a stasis theory application exhibit.  Also, see how stasis theory can help you answer exam questions.

Back to that/which, listen to or read what Grammar Girl says. Consider how listening to this discussion can help you remember the distinction and try this subtle style trick.

Many of you need to know about signal phases as way to be professional, ethical, precise, and careful in your citation.  Read this brief guide, noting carefully the table of words and phrases at the end. The signal phrases ANNOUNCES where your cited information begins.  Then, you complete the announcement by placing the author, date--parenthetical cite.  Example,

According to Hocking's 1994 analysis (INSERT, SAY FIVE SENTENCES)

(Hocking, 1994)

In class, we will briefly review how to choose a signal verb that fits the research/disciplinary confidence in the claim.

Bottom line:  When you place a cite in a paragraph, the location can be ambiguous in at least three ways:

1. do you mean to cite on the information in THAT ONE SENTENCE?
2. do you mean the cite to encompass or surround all the information that PRECEDES the citation?
   1. to the beginning of the paragraph?
   2. just select sentences?
3. if you place the citation at end of paragraph, do you mean to cite
   1. ONLY THE LAST SENTENCE?
   2. the ENTIRE PARAGRAPH?

Sentence bank for the coffee cup memo: 

Hocking's work, though dated, is strong support for the styrofoam cup choice.  We should,, however, acknowledge that if you weight the fate of ocean plastic as more important than climate change, you would reach another recommendation. Oceanographer Charles Moore.......

Overall, I recommend paper cups for our office.  I based my analysis on two criteria:

•  
  • fate of ocean plastic as the primary environmental problem, and,
  • LCA to examine the existing peer-reviewed evidence.

Having described both our office problem and reviewed the way we use and dispose of hot beverage cps, let's turn now to life cycle analysis (LCA).  LCA is.......The EPA provides this useful definition  THREE OR FOUR SUMMARY SENTENCES THAT YOU PARAPHRASE.....then, (EPA, n.d.) 

Now some humility sentences that address fairly the counter-argument: 

I want to acknowledge the reasonableness of the other recommendation.

Clearly, this recommendation is limited in several ways. First, we begin with the environmental problem in our analysis.  

The problems of the fate of ocean plastic and climate change are incommensurate, or without common measure.  

These two problems resist a direct and definitive comparison.

First, let's take up again the Oxford comma.  (See how we weave back and forth on language conventions?  You are more likely to remember, if we use this pattern.)

Consider these examples from Sarah Lichter.  Here is one from my writing practice recently:

Conservation biologists look at two approaches to biodiversity losses, species counts in the tropics and changing distribution maps.

What about this one that the protodoctors among us might say to a patient:

Your cancer can be treated with chemotherapy, surgery or immunotherapy.

Paragragh transitions: like pearls on a string.Here is an exhibit on paragraph transitions, in this Google doc.  The beauty of these two documents is that they were written by friends of mine.  I simply marked the strong transitions.  Transitions are REALLY IMPORTANT IN THE COFFEE CUP MEMO.  Transitions help us with complexity. Back to our office and the problem-solution memo you are writing.  This memo is largely organized on developing material to support a policy (stasis 5).

About your paragraphs in this memo.  Shorter paragraphs -- like the problem description para, the compare contrast para, and the LCA definition paragraph are like the thin edge of wedge.  Such relatively simple and relatively short paras help prepare your reader for the longer paragraphs:

• Martin Hocking's work SUMMARIZED in an evaluation para OR
• Charles Moore's work SUMMARIZED in an evalution para AND
• MH's work summarized in the counter-argument if you reccomend PAPER (supported by Moore) OR
• CM's work summarized in the counter-argument if you reccomend PLASTIC (supported by Hocking).

 Hint: in these larger evaluation paragraphs, try using the counting technique to bind or organize the complexity.

Reminder:  three sources only -- EPA or UNEP/UNDP source on defining LCA, our method, peer reviewed papers for Moore and Hocking (one each is sufficient). 

REMINDER ON DUE DATES:  MONDAY, FEB 29. 

1. Rewrite of rain garden for a grade
2. PDG (pretty darn good) draft for in-class peer review; rewrite for coffee cup DUE WEDNESDAY, MARCH 2 for grade.

How is your recommendation memo going? Jane wants a coffee cup policy for the office that is "green."  OK, that is the content for your invention.  Here is preliminary arrangement (paragraphs, using stasis theory and cognitive wedge frames):

POLITE first person OPENING, with your recommendation that previews your final policy paragraph and is the CONJECTURE PARAGRAPH

Environmental problems (energy efficiency ->climate change AND persistance of plastic in ocean -> food chain disruption) YOU MUST IDENTIFY WHICH PROBLEM YOU WILL WEIGHT EARLY ON.

CONJECTURE -->DEFINITION (you reflect on the problem in our office with some reference to the larger problem)

Problem description (our office situation, with quantifiers) Coffee cup types (how many?  Can we do this in one comparison paragraph or do we need one per coffee cup type? Use counting technique of two or three)

DEFINITION-->CAUSE/EFFECT information  (LOTS GOING ON, here, but you note the limitations of the cups and their disposal:  recycling and land fill and "escape" into water environments)

STOP and PIVOT TOWARD THE ANALYSIS, by using A NEW DEFINITION PARA THAT DEFINES YOUR Decision criteria (HINT:  Life cycle analysis, and define this; use an EPA source) HERE, this definition helps us move to the VALUE paragraphs 

VALUE (you have a choice here, for order and emphasis; summarize their findings)

• Martin Hocking's work on life cycle analysis of paper v. styrofoam OR
• Charles Moore's work on size of ocean garbage patches

POLICY/ RECOMMENDATION (short as you can)

Re-invoke the Science/Research support (remind about Hocking or Moore evidence you discussed above in VALUING PARAGRAPHS)a Counter-argument and Qualification (concede reasonableness of the other position)

Sentences that can help you as topic sentences or transitions sentences between paragraphs

Any analysis of coffee cup choice requires use of life cycle analysis.

According to ........Life cycle analysis (LCA) assesses......

Life cycle analysis is the primary decision criteria I used in this memo to evaluate our coffee cup choice.

Note that Martin Hocking's work uses LCA to assess the energy intensivity of paper, styrofoam, and ceramic cups.

Life cycle analysis -- also known as cradle-to-grave -- helps capture the entire environmental effect from origin and inputs through use and, importantly, to disposal.

In my analysis, I weight [name environmental problem] more heavily than [the other problem].

Life cycle analysis can help us analyze this difficult question about coffee cup sustainability

We have two choices in coffee cups: paper or plastic (styrofoam).

Martin Hocking conducted the first -- and to date only -- peer-reviewed analysis of the energy embodied in coffee cup choices.

Charles Moore is among the first to alert us to the huge problem of persistent ocean plastic.

Now, on to Lesson on paragraphs: Coherence in a paragraph (sample content that you can use or work from):

"Meh" paragraph
Plastic and paper cups pose problems for recycling. Ceramic cups are very energy intensive to produce. Recycling seems environmentally-sound.  Paper does not degrade deep within most landfills and the plastic coating is also difficult.  Not all plastic can be recycled.  You need to check the bottom of the container.  Landfills are increasingly full.  There is a huge "patch of garbage in the Pacific Ocean.

Better paragraph
Paper and plastic both pose disposal problems.  First, not all plastic can be recycled. Check the bottom of the plastic container. "No. 1" and "No. 2" types can be recycled by most facilities. Second, paper does not degrade deep within most landfills because of low oxygen conditions. The plastic coating also interferes with decay. Landfills are increasingly full.  There is a huge "patch" of garbage in the Pacific Ocean.

Even better paragraph (can you see the re-thinking of content as well as sentence-level revision)
Paper and plastic both pose disposal problems.  First, not all plastic can be recycled. Check the bottom of the plastic container. "No. 1" and "No. 2" types can be recycled by most facilities. Second, paper does not degrade deep within most landfills because of low oxygen conditions. The plastic coating also interferes with decay. Landfills are increasingly full, with paper and plastic part of the waste stream. Not all plastic is recycled or landfilled. According to the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC) a huge patch of plastic garbage in the Pacific Ocean is further evidence of of the environmental harm posed by plastic (NRDC, 2011)

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DUE DATES:

You will be rewriting the rain garden memo for a grade, to be due on Monday.  Coffee cup memo also due on Monday FOR PEER REVIEW. Final version due on Wednesday.

I want to chat about some grammar/convention items:

that v.who (things v. people)

punctuation with quotation marks, the US convention

APA: author date conventions, including institutional author

More -- we will talk about these items more fully on Wednesday

Semicolons by "The Oatmeal."

Apostrophe by the same; apostrophe by "Bob, the angry flower."

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