_____________________________________
Oops, science is POWERFUL!
ENGL 390, 390H, and (sometimes) 398V Class Journal
_____________________________________
Juggling two memos!
Peer review this Friday of your recommendation (coffee cup) memo. Due on Monday, October 5. On that day, you should bring a digital copy of the information memo (rain garden) for in-class revision. That revision is due for a grade on Wednesday, Oct. 7.
Due to me in email by Friday, close of day: the two articles you will review. One needs to be of tight focus, the other of broad focus. To be discussed in classs.
Rain garden revision: Here is a style guide/pointers to revise your rain garden memos. We will discuss in class today, as some of these style and use elements should be used in your coffee cup memo. Note: some of the examples are for revision! Come to class, for such discussion.
These concision tables will be helpful to you in cutting the fat in your prose.
Keep Cousin It OUT of your documents!
Post a Comment
Wednesday, Pope-R-Nickle at farmer's market today
Style: lots of choices to achieve a subtle yet powerful effect. One part of audience accomodation is to write in a style appropriate to the audience, context, and purpose. Let's talk more about empty subjects. This html worksheet shows many simple examples.
By the way, this ESL website contains a helpful review of grammar, particularly with short but clear examples. Back to empty subjects: I asked you to pay attention particularly to It/THere at the beginning of sentences. Now, you need to look at interior positions of an emtpy subject after an opening clause. You will need to revise away THOSE emtpy subjects. Example:
- Since the early 1990s, there are many low impact development examples, including rain gardens.
- Due to the effects of urbanization, it is now important to use sustainable land management techniques.
We discussed the Oxford comma on Monday. Compare these pairs of sentences for tight clari
- Science Daily is reporting on two solutions to climate change, mosquito vaccinations and off-shore drilling.
- Science Daily is reporting on two solutions to climate change, mosquito vaccinations, and off-shore drilling.
- Breast cancer is typically treated with chemotherapy, immunotherapy, or surgery.
- Breast cancer is typically treated with chemotherapy, immunotherapy or surgery.
Think about these funny things:
Here are links to document handouts for reading. However, you have already read them, right?
And, on to paragraphs:
STYLE and CLARITY TIP: We also talked about strategic renaming of subjects rather than relying overmuch on pronouns like 'they' and 'it.'
Penelope used the F54 Pipetting Stilleto at her bench. The F54 Pipetting Stilleto performs two actions at once: puncturing the nuclear membrane and delivering the desired solution of metal ions. This pipette system is attached to an electron microscope screen, which permits both viewing and recording of the piercing action. This system is fast becoming....
While we are talking about paragraphs, here is an arrangment for the coffee cup memo (using cognitive wedge, stasis steps, and the concision discipline of memo:
Polite first/second person opening
Reveal which environmental problem you weight more heavily in this analysis
Description para with quanitfiers about office problem
Review briefly the three choices in two categories -- Use two paragraphs 1) compare contrast of paper/styrofoam 2) description of ceramic option as main reuse-able
Define life cycle analysis (LCA) (needs source) and explain that this technique is your main decision criteria
Hocking's work OPTIONAL PLACEMENT FOR THIS PARA
Define carbon footprint briefly, with focus on energy, then mention water (re-usable) and landfill problem (paper and styrofoam); connect to life cycle para, as energy use your primary decision criteria
Moore's work OPTIONAL PLACEMENT FOR THIS PARA
Recommendation paragraph (use bold title to flag this part of the memo)
Acknowledgement of other readings of the options (counter argument)
Example paragraph
Polite closing, with emphasis on helping Jane (second person)
More style/grammar/puncutation/convention items from your papers:
- that v.who (things v. people)
- punctuation with quotation marks, the US convention
- commas with appositives (extra information or details, set off by TWO commas)
- More on why commas matter:
- Let's eat grandma.
- Let's eat, grandma.
- Dr. Davis.....Davis.....Davis.....
- Davis and Davis et al
- Davis's and Davis'
Apostrophes? They matter too. 
Marybeth Shea
Charles Moore, oceanographer, USE a peer-reviewed source!
Martin Hocking. chemist, USES a peer-reviewd source!
Few items; then, recommendation memo
For those planning a personal statement for graduate school in the sciences, start here, with advice from AAAS Science Magazine. NSF's guidance on their fellowship program is also helpful. However, you should look at the prompts from the graduate schools on your list. One variation on the all-purpose personal statement is a statment that is specifically research focused. Here, you focus less on your path forward as a scientist and more on the research you are engaged in, as well as the research you hope to do.
Professional programs in clinical health care need a different approach. Read in the professional associations that accrediate your desired program: pharmacy, optomentry, nursing, dentistry, PT, OT, etc. Ths US News and World Report article cautions you about trite and overused elements.
---- LONG but simple punctuation lesson now:
Oxford comma (wars): Look at these examples, to jump start the lesson.
To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.
To my parents, J.K. Rowling and God.
To my parents, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.
OR
In a newspaper account of a documentary about Merle Haggard:
Among those interviewed were his two ex-wives, Kris Kristofferson and Robert Duvall.
These two preceding examples are from Theresa Hayden. Here is another doosie that cries out for a serial or Oxford comma.
The Times once published an unintentionally humorous description of a Peter Ustinov documentary, noting that
"highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector."
Now, to be clear, the serial comma does not always solve ambiguity problems:
They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and a cook –
- They went to Oregon with Betty, who was a maid and a cook. (One person)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, both a maid and a cook. (One person)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and cook. (One person)
- They went to Oregon with Betty (a maid) and a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid, and with a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty – a maid – and a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with the maid Betty and a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with a cook and Betty, a maid. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty as well as a maid and a cook. (Three people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty and a maid and a cook. (Three people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, one maid and a cook. (Three people)
- They went to Oregon with a maid, a cook, and Betty. (Three people)
We can also look at the grocery list problem:
buying bread, jam, coffee, cream, juice, eggs, and bacon. VS
eating toast and jam, coffee and cream, juice, and bacon and eggs
---
In class we will use all stasis questions to think about this question: which is the better disposal cup for the environment?
paper vv. plastic (Styrofoam is a plastic!)
Peer review/checklist for rain garden memo
Empty subjects discussion in class.
Hard copy due on Monday, double spaced and stapled, for a grade.
Next week:
- what is the more sustainable disposable hot beverage cup?
- paper
- plastic (Styrofoam)
- What two articles might you review?
Stasis theory and the rain garden memo
The structure and type of paragraphs you will write follow Aristotle's stasis theory (very much a system of analysis and action, like your scientific method steps):
- Stasis 1: Definition (what is a rain garden, briefly, by two functions)
- Stasis 2: Classification (what type of technology is this? Hint: low impact development and storm water management)
- Description (Illustrative; give detail on the layers of soil and the type of plants)
- include two examples; consider the ones on campus
- Where is stasis 3? TBD: hint -- practical causality
- Description (Illustrative; give detail on the layers of soil and the type of plants)
- Stasis 4: Evaluation (is this good or bad? Use Dr. Davis' research as you do not have authority to evaluate based on your expertise)
I would think you need about one source per these paras: classifying, illustrating, evaluating. Use (author, date) citation from APA guidelines. Include a works cited page also.
Audience scenario for this memo: Here is Jane, our boss. She asked for the memo at the end of our last staff meeting.
irst up! What is a memo?
By the way, the OWL website at Purdue is a fabulous resource for writing. Memos also have a standard format: See the image to the left. Also, look at the email heading in your software. This electronic message is based on the memo format. Bonus question: what is the difference, traditionally, between a memo and a letter.
Topic Sentences: A list of qualities for you to strive for
- Usually a short direct sentence (think announcement)
- Signals the topic in the paragraph (think preview)
- Hooks the reader by 1) raising a question or 2) provoking thought
- Can be placed anywhere, but early on in the paragraph is the best default strategy for most professional documents; in other words, at the beginning of the paragraph
- Contains an element of transition from the previous paragraph
Note: topic sentences can be implied in tightly coherent prose (for now, leave this subtle technique to the professionals!)
Let's look at examples of topic sentences useful in the rain garden memo:
Rain gardens, or bioretention ponds, are a kind of low impact development. Low impact development....
Rain gardens have two components: layers of percolation material and carefully chosen plants.
Rain gardens protect the local environment by absorbing water run-off from impervious surfaces and by sequestering pollutants.
Dr. Allen Davis studies rain garden effectiveness. Davis, a civil engineering professor, has been studying bioretention for more than twenty years.
Let's also think about sentences generally. General advice to you? Write shorter sentences than those you are familiar with in literature and many of your textbooks.
Now, let's think about sentences:
And, on to paragraphs:
Marybeth Shea
We DO have a fifth stasis: policy. But we not use this stasis for an informational memo. More on this important idea in class.