_____________________________________ Oops, science is POWERFUL!
ENGL 390, 390H, and (sometimes) 398V Class Journal
_____________________________________
Week 10: some paras are easier to write than others
Hello there. (Wrapping up grading/reflecting on the coffee cup memos. Thank you!). I want to reflect quickly on a teaching approach that you can use at work and your personal future. Do not use a deficit model. Google's AI (cringing a bit about doing this) says (11/4/24):
The deficit model in education is a theory that students' academic performance is due to their own internal deficiencies, rather than the school's structure or other factors. The model assumes that students lack skills, knowledge, or experience, and that the teacher's role is to provide the missing knowledge.The deficit model can lead to teachers assuming that students are lazy, unmotivated, or underprepared. It can also lead to low expectations for students, and students may not be set up for real-world success.A more inclusive approach is the asset model, also known as the strengths-based approach. This model focuses on what students already know and their strengths, and can help students feel a sense of belonging and be motivated to succeed.
Spitballing on the CAIN seven openings:
- Tell a short story/be visual and clear about characters and actions.
- Case that is real (patient)
- Composite case that you reveal as not real but highly plausible
- Use a widely know lit/media event
- Use a current event.
- Professional meeting
- Political event
- Cultural event/phenom
- Capture the size of the problem (very large but sometimes very small works too).
- Rate of illness in a population (like diabetes or COVID infection numbers)
- Number of Goldilocks planets
- Depth of sea flow and number of heat vents
- Estimates of insects globally
- Financial cost of cod fishery collapse.
- Open with huge social problem, perhaps a wicked problem.
- Can geo-engineering address carbon capture in practical, short-term ways?
- Drones may play a role in distributing vaccines in remote areas.
- Use a smaller question to open a document.
- Does ultra high resolution mammography improve the problem of false positives in breast cancer diagnosis?
- Can Josh Silver's 2009 TED talk on spectacles be scaled in Amazonia?
- Quote a respected thinking, related to your problem/research question.
- Pick someone you admire. I suggest looking at Nobel Prize speeches but also the annual cohorts of MacArthur genius winners.
- “The power of a theory is exactly proportional to the diversity of situations it can explain.”
― Governing the Commons: The Evolution of Institutions for Collective Action. - ‘As birds form flocks and ants carry food to nests using bottom-up principles of communication and collective action, people can solve their own problems.’
- “The power of a theory is exactly proportional to the diversity of situations it can explain.”
- Pick someone you admire. I suggest looking at Nobel Prize speeches but also the annual cohorts of MacArthur genius winners.
- Use statistics (related to number 3).
- Protein folding operations are very small and very fast. For example, very small single-domain proteins ( up to a hundred amino acids) typically fold in one step.
- Time scales for protein folding are typically at the millisecond level. Indeed, the very fastest known protein folding reactions conclude with one to five microseconds.
How does this help you write paragraphs now? Try writing am opening paragraph using two of these strategies -- all the while honoring the cognitive wedge. Now, try using those strategies -- with some of the excitement (pathos) about why the article is important -- to close your document. You can revise later but let's get in there and play ball!
Next paragraph that is very easy to work in concerns establishing the ethos of your first (and perhaps last) author. Huzzah, we can do this (did with Davis and with either Moore or Hocking). In an author-ethos paragraph (within the first three paragraphs/on the ramp of the cognitive wedge),
- give expertise/specialization and
- both the PhD/MD or other degree-granting institution AND the current institutional affiliation.
Caution: Do not focus overmuch on undergraduate study. Note: PhD are earned, rather than obtained. Sample-->
Kaspari earned a PhD in pharmacognition from the University of Illinois. He leads an interdisciplinary team at Wexler Institute of Plant Based Technology, which is part of the University of California at Berkeley Plant Science Department.
Here is a thoughtful NCBI/NIH article on first author conventions. Two additional resources are this 2010 open access piece at Science and this 2012 Nature short guidance article.
Tonight PLEASE complete your ER REVIEWING TASK. Help each other move the knowledge and document forward. Be afraid. Very afraid. Comply!

We will hold class today. I will talk about the ethos paragraph, preview another paragraph concerning definitions, and comment on what I am seeing in the current ER Writng+Reviewing Tasks round.
You WILL be wresting with an -- in a Google Doc with many examples -- And-But-Therefore statement (ABT statement) in Friday's ER WRITING TASK. We will do this complex tast in two rounds. We need to write and ABT statement to revise an ABT statement. Bonus: students use ABT statements (typically two to three short sentences) early on in the review. Many students use the ABT statement to also close their review.
The ABT statement comes from South Park (yes, really). Marine biologist-turned filmmaker Randy Olson brings this storytelling framework to science and science communication. More on that over the next few class days.
I asign to all of us some time with the people we love and are loved by.

Good Morning. Will be here:
9-9:50
11-11:50
You have an ER WRITING TASK due tonight. Please get in there. If you are behind, you should be even MORE motivated to get in there. Please. Help each other. Help yourself.
Now, some visual reinforcement about reading elements of technical literature. Leonart Nacke's visual on extracting information from the Abstract. This is strategic pre reading here. Know some landmakr trees before you enter the forest of knowledge in that paper. Click this image in a new tab to see all of the detail.
Abstract oddities:
- (in)Famous 2011 "Probably not" abstract that answers the title question
- 2017 Gilbert Stork abstract, at ACS, the American Chemical Society. Insider story is at the end of his illustrious career, he said the obvious, happily
- Samples from Gut journal of visual abstracts
- Humor as cautionary tale: smoking improves athletic performance
- 2011 public health article on not making your bed (to be healthy, according to science)
- Do not miss the scone therapy addendum here that connects to Lister's discoveries.
Week 9: what shape will your review be; article in hand, right?
Chilly Monday. Halloween is Thursday. Will start grading your coffee cup memos today. Been reading them, with such pleasure as I prep my responding outline.
I will post a this week's ER WRITING TASK early Tuesday AM: to ELMS mail and to your ELMS calendar. You cannot complete this task without having an article. You MUST HAVE AN ARTICLE NOW (from ealier: copy/download to track your reading)! These shapes guide our work. Can you see the cognitive wedge at the stem end of each fruit?
What is a research article, anyway? We will work through this 39 slide Google Presentation. I am reposting some material from earlier that I provided for context. I urge you to skim read these links. You will gain some knowledge that will help you in other classes, in laboratory settings, and your professional future.
Getting clear on technical, scientific prose (in contrast to literature): Let's look at this recent article in PloS One about writing scientific prose (ten step format). Here is a PloS follow-up about writing your first research article. In Science, two scientists talk about how they read articles. Ruben writes with a somewhat lighthearted approach while Pain responds to his piece with her approach. Read the comments.
Writing resources are also reading resources! Here is the open acess "bible" of writing (and reading) scientific prose: Mayfield Guide. Now, let's look/review at the basic parts of the IMRAD article using this guide. BTW, this book is hosted by MIT. I follow the MIT ethical practice of teaching openly, so that knowledge is available to all and not just tuition paying students.
As given earlier, a flow-diagram to help you. Open in a new link. Save in a draft document! The lemon and pear document shapes appear here, too.

Halloween eve here; Day of the Dead sorta begins now, so we will use the plural Days. Diwali too!
Today, we will
- talk briefly about how Aristotle's logos, pathos, ethos triangle helps us make sense of a horrific use of our coffee cup memo topic of patches of plastic trash in the ocean.
- look at more of the seven openings/closings guide ("more" here reminds that you saw this earlier; I talked about the anecdote/case opening last week. Today, we will look at the statistics opening (really a logos-of-numbers opening).
- reconsider the writing craft lesson about that and which of a few weeks ago (which takes a comma; that does not). Here is a handout that you can look at for examples of when to use which and when to use that (is nuanced and not at all clear in a binary way). However, smile! You can always punctuate the clause perfectly. Sometimes the look of correctness is more important than intellectual perfection. Hey: punctuation carries an ethos of being literate, if used according to the rules.
Visuals for today:
1) LOGOS PATHOS ETHOS to examine this "joke" (link to BBC New article that opens with a 31 second video clip). Now, first Aristotle's rhetorical triangle from week 1 of class. I use a green triangle visual for that powerful way to think about communication--> (Both are tumbnails.; we can click into larger images as needed.)
We also use Booth's two blue rhetorical triangles -->
Here is the case we examine. BBC short news article with 31-sec. video clip (. No curation? Mb will explain. Warning: is difficult, disgusting, dangerous, deranged.
2) LOGOS of NUMBERS in openings. Numbers are powerful! Directions for you as rational person trained with the science ethos--> Look for the numbers (helpers); we are borrowing from Mr. Rogers, with this iconic advice to children and all human beings.
He is quoting his mother, actually PBS short clip from interview. Quick writing craft lesson:
Mr. Rogers's mother (correct)
Mr. Rogers' mother (correct, conventional)
3) THAT and WHICH, (new to you! samples in G doc) punctuation is clear; nuance on use? Harder. We have three memory helpers for getting the
- comma with that and
- no comma with which
OOPS (errata and mea culpa)
- comma with WHICH, and
- no comma with THAT
Here you go: that" and "which" should be used with care. Read more here, at Grammar Girl. She offers a simple rule (start here) and a more complex rule; her discussion relies on understanding the difference between restrictive and non restrictive clauses. Note: WHICH takes a comma while THAT does not. Here is another image to help you:

Holidays continue with Day of the Dead. Have a neighborhood Diwali party tonight. Asked to come with small battery-powered candles because of the children.
Will be in in digital office hours:
9-9:50
11-11:50
Your ER prewriting/skim reading/grid task is due this evening. BE ON TIME FOR EACH OTHER. Please.
Some of you need to turn in the coffee cup memo to ER parking lot. If you still need more time, YOU MUST EMAIL ME TO DISCUSS.
Now, to a few things for today, mostly visual. First, a few funny (humor can help engage the memory) memes
re commas more generally.
Ok, now how about a panda-inspired comma clarity lesson? Here we go-->
Eats shoots leaves (hmm, are all these words verbs? "Shoots" can be verb and can be a noun).
Eats Shoots Leaves (can capitalization help us? More verb-like)
Eats. Shoots. Leaves. (three sentences, with the subject of Panda understood)
Eats shoots and leaves. (no comma; apparently we are safe in this situation)
Eats, shoots, and leaves. (I am worried here)
Eats, shoots and leaves. (Still worried)
“There are people who embrace the Oxford comma and people who don’t,” writes British author Lynne Truss in her humorous punctuation book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves; then, she opines, “and I’ll just say this: never get between these people when drink has been taken.”
More on Monday, re punctuation including the apostrophe. Also, know that spoken speech is NOT punctuated except with speaker pauses.
See this web exhibit of ten funny black-ant-white (hyphens, again) illustrations of punctuation saves.
Week 8: coffee cup nearly done; one article close review up next
Happy Monday. Here is a novel concept for the coffee cup problem by Sardi Design for an Italian coffee company, Lavazza. Is this for real or just an idea meant to shake up our thinking a bit?
Tonight, you have an ER REVIEWING TASK due. A few of you have a Google doc work around to use. Please be on time for each other. I will open a parking lot for the to-be-graded coffee cup memo likely early Tuesday AM. You will have a week, as per practice for the rain garden memo. Be on time for each other. Take the week for yourself as needed to turn in the memo for a grade. Make sense?
TLDR for next topic: Use the Oxford comma. Just do it! Here is explication of this writing craft punctuation choice, with examples-->
To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.
To my parents, J.K. Rowling and God.
To my parents, Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.
In a newspaper account of a documentary about Merle Haggard:
Among those interviewed were his two ex-wives, Kris Kristofferson (died last month) and Robert Duvall.
These two preceding examples are from Theresa Hayden, helpfully in a Wikipedia entry. Here is another doosie (courtesy Hayden) that cries out for a serial or Oxford comma.
The Times once published an unintentionally humorous description of a Peter Ustinov documentary, noting that "highlights of his global tour include encounters with Nelson Mandela, an 800-year-old demigod and a dildo collector."
Now, to be clear, the serial comma does not always solve ambiguity problems. Let's look at the Sweet Betsy from Pike (ballad history web exhibt) way to think about the Oxford comma and other options (standard way to teach this in the 60s, 70s; likely regional, as in US west, like Montana).*
They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and a cook –
- They went to Oregon with Betty, who was a maid and a cook. (One person)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, both a maid and a cook. (One person)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid and cook. (One person)
- They went to Oregon with Betty (a maid) and a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, a maid, and with a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty – a maid – and a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with the maid Betty and a cook. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with a cook and Betty, a maid. (Two people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty as well as a maid and a cook. (Three people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty and a maid and a cook. (Three people)
- They went to Oregon with Betty, one maid and a cook. (Three people)
- They went to Oregon with a maid, a cook, and Betty. (Three people)
We can also look at the grocery list problem:
buying bread, jam, coffee, cream, juice, eggs, and bacon. VS
eating toast and jam, coffee and cream, juice, and bacon and eggs
Finally, we have a theme song to remember this punctuation convention. Caution: F-bomb in the chorus.
*Mb comments in slight rant about imperfection of Wikipedia as the all-perfect knowledge-pollooza.
Now, you need short research article for the next assignment! ASAP. We will speak in class about what works. Tips:
- topic you care about personally (delight-directed, personal motivation)
- from a class you are taking now (practical, study/write = knowledge uptake)
- from a lab/PI/post doc you know (participate in lab culture; ask researcher)
- from previous position or class (you already know material)
- as part of personal research (for senior thesis, etc.)
- to prep for interviews (grad school; medical school)
- Care to adopt this "shaman" article? First come/first served.

Happy Wednesday! Today, we acknowledge the juggling of two tasks: 1) complete Assignment 2 and upload to the ER WRITING TASK AKA the parking lot; simultaneusly, 2) selecting and reading your article for Assignment 3.
Resources for reading:
How to read complex information by KE, with permission (you have seen this Google doc before in the first week of the class). This one-pager includes links that are work skimming. You will see a link to a reading guide, also linked/described here in the next resource item.
Here is a googe doc for you to copy/download to track your reading. THe article review you will write has a shape, also, with most people writing in a lemon shape with some othes writing in a pear shape. More fun detail on these fruit shapes on Wednesday.
Articles have beginnings, middles, and ends. Articles also have shapes: Think Lemon-shaped (variation is pear). Hint: how is one end of a lemon and/or a pear like the cognitive wedge? Interestingly, beginnings and ends have similarities. We have a number of options; look at these seven strategies for opening. We use these strategies with an audience in mind. Wednesday, we will talk a bit more about this audience but is based on an interdisciplinary journal club at work. Imagine Jane, all of use as colleagues, Mb as research director -- A Leaf it to Us.
Audience: who is primary audience for your article. Some rough thoughts about formality and audience type:
News article openings are good for the lay audience. Why? Several strategies related to the "seven-document" linked above:
highly visual
interesting case
hook with tidbit of interesting information
topic (timely)
For technical audiences, open with
review of logos (detail of costs, population size, enormity of problem)
controversy
new application or breaking news
Getting clear on technical, scientific prose (in contrast to literature): Let's look at this recent article in PloS One about writing scientific prose. In Science, two scientists talk about how they read articles. Ruben writes with a somewhat lighthearted approach while Pain responds to his piece with her approach. Read the comments.
Writing resources are also reading resources! Here is the open acess "bible" of writing (and reading) scientific prose: Mayfield Guide. Now, let's look/review at the basic parts of the IMRAD article using this guide. BTW, this book is hosted by MIT. I follow the MIT ethical practice of teaching openly, so that knowledge is available to all and not just tuition paying students.
As given earlier, a flow-diagram to help you. Open in a new link. Save in a draft document!
Preview of document middle (shape!) : three or four points. We will consider the cognitve magic of three. Want to read ahead? We have science on why three or found points work in communication. To prepare for that, you can skim read this Forbes piece on Thomas Jeffeson, Steven Jobs and three! If you read from a campus IP address, you have access to this widely read business magazine. If you, you likely can read under the limited-number-of-articles marketing strategy.



Happy Friday --> heading into Halloween, Day of the Dead, and Diwali all just about to unfold.
Available 9-9:50 & 11-11:50
Oxford comma, science examples.(short google doc).
Parking lot is open for one week, starting tonight, for your coffee cub memos.
Do you have a technical/scientific article? You need this NOW because next week begins Assignment 3.
Week 7: coffee cup work AND selected technical article for Assignment 3
Good morning, fine Terp-Sci Wri students.
DUE TONIGHT! Monday's ER REVIEWING TASK. Help each other out by being on time for each other. Friday's ER WRITING TASK is draft 3 of the memo. Next week? Parking lot opens for my grading of the memo. Then, we move on to the last assignment: One-article close review. Preview by flow chart linked here, in our celery green color now familar to you.
Let's have a lesson on writing craft that is a sub-category: document design. Document design covers a range of sub-sub topics but here, our focus is on formatting the words upon the page into "chunks" that are governed by styles guides, including MLA and APA. Here is block quote (PARA 5, the LCA paragraph) from my dissertation-->
In Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants, ecologist Robin Wall Kimmerer notes:
Even a wounded world is feeding us. Even a wounded world holds us, giving us moments of wonder and joy. I choose joy over despair. Not because I have my head in the sand, but because joy is what the earth gives me daily and I must return the gift. Kimmerer (2015)
-------
At the end of the document, here is what is my very last citation in my 300+ bibliography-->
Kimmerer, R. W. (2015). Braiding sweetgrass. Milkweed Editions.
Note, this is too short for a hanging indent. Always be learning. Here is what one looks like for a longer paper by RWK. Recall that the hanging indent in a long bibliography helps a reader find a desired citation because the last name sits out in a "panhandle." (I did a screen shot of this reference below, using large font to focus on the "shape" of the hanging indent.)
Now, here is a visual metaphor to remember the look of a hanging indent.
How to do these indents? In Scribbr, this short article will help you in both MS Word and in Google Docs.
Shall we focus on some additional details within the coffee cup memo?
- Common knowledge is still a topic of uncertainty for many of you. Hint: common knowledge determination is hard and varies by audience/context/purpose. This Scribbr short article will help you.
- PARA 4: At the level of detail in this writing scenario (short recommendation report in memo for work), you do
- NOT have to use formal references for the mention of climate change problem scope (IPCC is your most authoritative reference, not paywalled, and is perfect for the referral link, CURATED, naturally.) OR the mention of the ocean/aquatic plastic problem emerging documentation (Algalita Foundation or Charles Moore Research Institute are authoritative, not paywalled, and are perfect for the referral link.).
- NEED to reference formally the Moore peer reviewed article or the Hocking peer reviewed article in your evaluation paragraph.
- Please note, that referral links give you the opportunity to "cover your behind" (CYA) about plagiarism concerns. So, you should be psychologically comforted by this informal reference technique.
- PARA 4: At the level of detail in this writing scenario (short recommendation report in memo for work), you do
- Acknowledging the other frame/green cup in the recommendation at the end of the memo. You can do this in a number of ways, beginning with the sample sentences I have given you. Another way to manage this is to use referral links to unpaywalled sources about the other problem and the research. For example, you could
- TEAM STYRO: Send the reader to a Moore open access link. Build Moore's reputation by a brief sentence about their ethos. OR
- TEAM PAPER: Send the reader to a Hocking open access link (harder). Build Hocking's reputation by a brief sentence about their ethos.
- OPTION: you could remind about incommensurality, defined in Week 6.
- OPTION: you could note that social behavior is at the heart of this problem because people pretty much know that a re-usuable option (after using many times to outweigh the energy and pollution associated with glass, ceramic, and metal production).
- Confusion about where definition stops and analysis begins: Roughly, PARA 5, the LCA paragraph is the pivot point from description that is necessary to set up the problem resolution.
Now, topical reflection on how logos, pathos, and ethos overlap in a real example (20 second YourTube clis)-->

Wednesday and is chilly. Shifting from hoodie to sweater!
Friday begins our last set of ER for the coffee cup memo--> WRITING TASK (Friday night) and REVIEWING TASK (I read and consider all posts to write a prompt) that I open midday on Saturday, giving you time to think/respond by Monday evening.
Let me gather our current round up resources for this work:
- Check list in Google Sheet
- Dummy text for coffee cup memo (helps with voice shifts noted below)
- Celery-green flow chart (linked in the Google Sheet as an audience-friendly act for YOU)
- Two Google Docs from previous semesters that are FAQ-organized.
- Office Hours in the Sky 1 (note, this is an archived resource and not active for our class)
- Round up of most of the free content you may use
- Cognitive frame here is mentor text. What are mentor text approaches to writing? TLDR? Here is a visual clip from that University of Maryland Writing Project: (I am a board member of this k-16 professional group.)
Now, what do I focus on when I grade you?
- topic sentences and transitions to thread the cognition for the reader
- referral links for courtesy and to punt/bunt (writer) that give the reader a choose-your-own adventure option (Para 4)
- bookending the links so reader can tell what information traces to the informal but powerful linked sources
- use of first person voice strategically BUT third person voice in much of the prose
- acknowledgment of the other frame
- use of the founder sources/highest ethos sources I give you
Here are some nice choices I see in your work that are worth wider adoption:
- PROBLEM QUANTIFICATION: Global data but local description/with quantifiers (Para 2). Sample --> The Galactic Union of Hot Beverages Society notes that in the Rigel Galaxy, 7.8 parsecs of disposal cups are used daily. In our office, i note that the two recycle bins and one large trash bin are routinely filled with a mixture of cups. For our 25 employees and five weekly visitors, I estimate that we use X disposable cups weekly, This means our annual cup use is about Y.
- Three writers suggest that we spend more time on this problem description together. One person notes that the fossil fuel industry is at the heart of both problems.
- Another writer suggests that we plan a project examining social behavior and how to "nudge" toward better behavior. Writer notes the disciplinary origin of nudge. I will let you search and see how new Google serves up the knowledge.
- Finally, a few students include encouraging information on microbes that can consume plastic. You could conclude on that sort of knowledge but looking specifically at styrofoam, which is a kind of plastic.

Friday feeling! No one does this better than Robert Smith of the Cure. Enjoy! Such singable punk. My favorite kind of punk :) !
Here digitally between 9-950 and 11-11:50. Complete your ER WRITING TASK TONIGHT! Some of you are behind on several previous tasks. Sigh. Procrastination is human but can hurt you. Take care, students! Stay in the sci-wri game we play together.
Here is a graphic by Gemma Correll, British artist, for Evernote. Many artists use evernote to organize sharing small art files with users and possible patrons. This style is becoming known as sketchnote (encouraging short definition) or elementary school teacher art. Simply put: sketchnote style combines handwritten text with simple sketches to illustrate a concept.
A company capitlizes on this -- Sketchnote! -- of course. See the exciting punctuation here aka the dashes. Technically this is an en-dash, which is created by two hyphens (old school typewriter days).
You can use sketchnote style to prep for exams by doodling key concepts as images or even just connection phrases with arrows or in Venn-style diagrams. Hope that helps you. I used to use sketchnote practices on the whiteboards of in-person teaching. Miss those days.
Week 6: Coffee cup memo relies on description v. analysis framing
Happy Monday. Tonight, your ER REVIEWING TASK is due. You WILL gain knowledge as you help each other. As in the case of the rain garden memo, you will see two things:
- level of detail (just right! Not too much, not too little, aka the Goldilocks sweet spot)
- where to place details(which paragraph showcases the detail best?)
And for you? You can draft off each other in a cycling or aerodynamic way. In this short 2017 web article from Cycling Tips is this quote:
So how much energy can you save from drafting? Interestingly, there seems to be little consensus among researchers that have investigated this topic. Studies have shown drag reductions of between 27% and 50% for riders that are drafting, with the exact reduction depending on a number of variables — the size and on-the-bike position of the rider in front, likewise with the rider drafting, the distance from the wheel in front, the direction and strength of the wind, and more.
(de Vroet, Matthew)
This, just above, shows how to do a block quote (option for you re your life cycle assessment (LCA) paragraph. Paraphrase is fine. USE THE FOUNDER definition from EPA. Please.
We are still working off WEEK 5's guidance below, especially the flow chart (pale yellow-green large image). I have resources on framing/thinking:
- Focus on difference between description and analysis (key critical thinking skill) in this linked google doc (skim the embedded links, please)
- Metadiscourse (counting out is a metadiscourse strategy) and voice propel the complexity forward with flow (science examples in this short google doc)
- Note that description, combined with analysis, supports recommendations
- look at the last sentence of each paragraph;
- then look at the first sentence in the next paragraph.
Do you see connection between content, including a reasonable pivot to new information? The paragraphs, although they stand alone in topic and content, should CONNECT or TRANSITION with the surrounding paragraphs.
Paragraph check: Ask
- What is the paragraph doing in the document? What type of paragraph serves this purpose? For example, a narrative paragraph can tell a brief story or present a case or example. An illustrative paragraph – cousin to descriptive paragraphs - paints a picture.
- Is the paragraph cohesive? Does the content “hang” together? Do the sentence choices achieve cohesion? Look at the transition words and phrases in the OWL link above. You can use them to achieve cohesion and flow between sentences. This focus is called local coherence, which is key to achieving flow.
Finally, paragraphs do not truly stand alone in most documents. Paragraphs combine to provide coherent content in a document for a reader. Ask this: do the paragraphs fit and support the arrangement or structure of the document? Focus on transitions between paragraphs, which help with cohesion in the document. Local coherence (within a paragraph) + global coherence (between paragraphs and within a document) create overall flow.
Cheap! Way To achieve cohesion between paragraphs try "chaining" by transitions. Place the topic of the next paragraph in the last sentence of the preceding paragraph. The first sentence of the new paragraph must include that topic also. Doing this knits or binds the paragraphs to each other. Here is how a math person would say this:
Let ParaA be the preceding paragraph.
Let ParaB be the following paragraph.
Let T be the topic that should appear in both paragraphs.
- the last sentence of ParaA and the
- first sentence of ParaB.
In reality, ParaA and ParaB exist in a document with an arrangement of many paragraphs.
ParaA relates to ParaB through the last sentence of ParaA AND SIMULTANEOUSLY through the first sentence of ParaB. The relating elements is a topic, T; T can be a repeated word or a phrase. Some variation on T makes for good style.
Tight transitions pivot on repetition of key word or short phrase. Loose transitions allow a topic substitution or phrase (selected with care for reader knowledge/background).
Food for thought: You also can use the transition space to punt or jump to another subtopic in the memo. Phrases:
Having reminded you of the central emergency of climate change, let's turn now to...
Now that you have more details on the emerging problem of ocean plastic, we can look at...
Recall that this memo is a short back-of-the-envelope analysis for our purposes. We can reconsider these frames more carefully but would face the incommensurability problem.
Wednesday preview:
- will talk about informal (IPPCC and Algalita Foundation) and formal sources (Hocking and Moore)
- "punting" with curated linked referral citations
- cautions about the ethos of who shares information from peer reviewed research
- discussion (critical thinking) on the incommensurability of direct comparison of climate change problem with ocean plastic problem and how to note and then punt (this link really needs curation: TBD in class)
Helpful short video to think about the complexity here of the linked problems of pollution (CO2, single use plastic) and depletion (stress upon a resource: climate system and ocean/water system. Think cycles: carbon and water). From UMD genius Herman Daly.

Short follow-up on Monday's mega-post: punting by referral link. This is especially useful when noting the seriousness of your environmental problem. What is a punt (football) or even a bunt (baseball)? The metaphor in writing means we can point readers to a source to consider complexity outside of the through-line of the document. In other words, we are not going to explain everything about
- climate change (refer them to an open access Intergovermental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) source -- caution! Huge PDFs) OR
- ocean plastic (refer them to Algalita Foundation (open access and html pages)
This type of referral link reminds me of the books designed in a choose-your-own-adventure. You give audiences a helpful path to go down but do not require all readers to do this. Look at how audience-friendly hypertext is for you to refer readers!
Refinement on when to cite in common knowledge areas: specific details!
The Algalita Foundation, created by Charles Moore, PhD, educates and acts on the serious problem of ocean plastic. Recently, the scope expanded to address freshwater and brackish water. The Foundation identifies at least nine giant garbage patches in the Pacific Ocean alone. A recent study by the associated Charles Moore Research Institute noted that 67% of freshwater watersheds within 50 miles of cities at a threshold population level of 50,00 contained detectable microplastic residues (Shea, 2027).
The IPPC "Policymaker Summaries) between 2018-2023) warn about temperature rises above the modeled 1.5C by 2050. However, the 2023 Synthesis Report (Summary for Policymakers linked here) cautions that many scientists warn that the future may be more dire than modeled due to feedback loops within the ocean and air carbon cycles that are accelerating global change conditions. See especially, pages 4x-8q).
TBD in class.
Another resource can be this QA session from a previous class.

Happy Friday. More Nobel Prize news below. I will be available between
- 9-9:50
- 11-11:50
You have an Eli Review WRITING TASK due tonight (draft 2 of 3). Please respond so that you can participate in the REVIEWING TASK, which I will open mid day bases upon what alll y'all compose. That task is due Monday evening, as per usual. BE ON TIME FOR EACH OTHER! Hint: this is a make-or-brake moment for most in the class.
If you do not have ELMS mail grades/reflection from me re your rain garden memo, you MUST CONTACT ME ABOUT THIS assignment.
For chemistry: Congratulations to (Google Deep Mind CEO) Demis Hassabis (five minute interview video on Nobel site, includes transcript) and Dr. John Jumper (Nobel site; 3 minute video)for being awarded the 2024 Nobel Prize in Chemistry for their work developing AlphaFold, a groundbreaking AI system that predicts the 3D structure of proteins. Comp Sc+chemistry (lots of biochemistry in there). Good visual, courtesy of Compound Interest-->
Here is another visual, from the Nobel website-->
Some of you may have "played" Fold-It, a citizen science precursor to this AI-assisted protein study tool.
Also, did you see or try to see the northern lights last night? I did. Did not film well and you might have to know how to look. I grew up seeing them all the time. Search on images in Google, with Washington DC in your terms and you will be treated to a feast! Here is my little photo. Purple maroon above blue twilight. Made my Montana heart so glad.